I am a girl. There are many things I do not understand – most of them to do with men, but that’s another story and a lot to do with teaching overseas and a guy named Pablo… – but the chief one I do not get right now is this: why are there so many tree surgeons doing the rounds right now? Seriously, this week four or five different ones came to my door hoping to find trees to slay. Do these people not understand the concept of trees? That trees take some time to grow? From the way they speak to you (all dissapointed when you say “sorry, no, we don’t have any poxy trees we need cutting down, THANKS”) you would think that trees were in instant thing–a pest that appeared overnight!

It’s all to do with money, of course. Because apparently hacking down Mother Nature’s greatest gift is quite a lucrative business, and isn’t there always someone who wants to cash in?

But even worse than the regular tree surgeons, who are a pain enough as it is, are the EMERGENCY tree surgeons! Now let me ask you: have you ever seen a tree have a heart attack and be carried away on a stretcher? Have you ever seen a tree in distress or heard one cry out for emergency help? I arrest my case. Now, if you are the wife or husband or child of one of these pesky people, I suggest you have firm words with them!

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